Welcome back my dear readers to the Basics of Facilitation and this is the part 3 of the Feedback series. I have already shared some important topics like basic points on Effective Feedback, the Aim of giving Feedback, some important tips in giving Feedback and types of Feedback. Today I will discuss about barriers in Feedback, Feedback skills and I-message in Feedback. So lets get right into it.
First we will look into Barriers in Giving and Receiving Feedback.
Barriers
I have studied some important points during my studies and they helped me a lot so I am going to share them with you. Lets go through with Barriers in giving Feedback.
You may find it difficult to give feedback because you:
- Believe that feedback is negative and unhelpful
- Worry that the other person will not like you
- Believe that the other person cannot handle the feedback
- Have had previous experiences in which the receiver didn’t change or was hostile to feedback.
- Feel that feedback isn’t worth the risk.
At this point those of you who are here for the first time please go back to part 1 and 2 to read about Feedback and than come back here. This way you will understand the above mentioned points very easily. I just want to point out that you can get out of this situation if you remember to give positive Feedback first and a negative Feedback second (assuming that you are giving negative Feedback).
Similarly for receiving Feedback take care of the following points.
Receiving corrective feedback may be difficult because you:
- Have the urge to rationalize, since the criticism can feel uncomfortable.
- Believe that your self-worth diminished by suggestions for improvement.
- Have had previous experiences in which feedback was not helpful or unjustified.
Here you have it, few importants points to remember while giving and taking Feedback. I hope these points help you in understanding the Feedback. But if you are still not sure let me give you some Skills to remember during your Feedback sessions.
Feedback Skills
These skills are different from the types that we have gone through in the last post.
Active listening: Listen attentively to other person’s viewpoint, perspective, needs and feelings.
Observation: Be aware of how people talk, speak, move, react. Try to describe this accurately.
Clear verbal expression: Use direct language; choose words appropriate to the listener.
Structure your message: Introduce the conversation; sets the context; explains the issue; summaries the discussion; and ends on a positive.
Plan and prepare your message:Think in advance about the time, place and content of the conversation.
Timing: Be aware of the other person’s need and priorities. Choose breaks or quiet moments to talk. Don’t disturb when other person is in a hurry or too busy. Allow the time to absorb and think.
Self-awareness: Be aware of your own feelings; aware of what you find difficult; aware of your limits; and be able to talk about these.
Resilience: Try not to take things personally. Learn from the experience.
Assertiveness: Express your needs, feelings, and opinions in a honest, direct and appropriate way. Take ownership of your comments, show awareness that other people have different perspective, whilst explaining own position.
These are very important skills that we have been taught during our studies and I just shared them with you. Practice these skills because they will help you in your practical and social life. With important skills like these come a great message which is ‘I-Message’.
The I-message
This is the best way of giving Feedback to anyone and it is the method that we have been suggested by our facilitators and I am just moving it on to you guys and gals.
It is important because the person opening the discussion works from their own personal basis and requirements and uses the ”I” form to give feedback.
Effective feedback focuses on two things:
- Honest self-expression: exposing what matters to oneself in a way that’s likely to inspire compassion in others.
- Empathy: understanding each other.
Using I-message and working with honest self-expression follows four steps:
- Making neutral observation. (distinguishing from interpretations/evaluations).
- Expressing feelings. (emotions separate from reasons and interpretations).
- Expressing needs. (deep motives).
- Making requests. (clear, concrete, feasible and without an explicit or implicit demand).
The listener may show empathy for the speaker by responding with reworded versions of the speaker’s own statements (”I hear you saying that…”) and attempting to recognize the needs motivating the speaker’s words (”It sounds like you need…”).
Using I-message mean that even quiet sensitive issues can be brought up for dialogue without any unnecessary misunderstandings arising.
It is because I-messages are free of
- Hidden meanings
- Insinuations
- Hints
- Diagnosis or guilt issues and
- The recipient dose not need to feel threatened and adopt a defensive position.
So, there you have it. All the required tolls and tips and tricks to get you started with Feedback. In the last part of the Feedback series I will finish by some important Thoughts and also I will try to summarize these parts in few lines. So those who haven’t subscribed yet do so and I will see you next time with a great new blog post.
//Imran